Note: this may be a little to much details but I need to tell the story about how God was there for me in so many ways this Christmas.
Have you ever been to a pediatric emergency department as a mom.
Its heart wrenching. Children crying and screaming.
The nurses and doctors are hard and emotionless.
Which I guess they have to be to work there.
I laid with Noah on the bed.
He hardly let me be more than an inch away from him.
Or maybe it was the other way around.
They took his temperature(the awful way), he cried in my arms.
They gave him medicine to reduce his fever.
Then they wanted to put a catheter in. He's 2 years old!
They wanted to check for infection in his bladder, and since a 2 year old doesn't understand "go pee in a cup"
catheter it is.
They started the procedure.
Noah screams "Mommy, Mommy Mommy"
I had to stand there and watch.
It was the worst feeling anyone could have felt.
My child screaming out in pain and terror, for me to save him.
I've been through a car accident with 28 stitches in my knee, and child birth.
No pain in the world compares to my child calling my name in agony.
He was too strong for the nurse aide to hold him down.
They had failed, they started to try again when...
He peed on the nurse, she grabbed a cup and caught it.
I was so happy to have my son pee on someone.
I couldn't have handled it twice.
After that we went to get an Xray of his lungs.
To see if he had pneumonia.
My baby, my sweet baby, told everyone there "Merry Christmas!"
My little boy who was sick, was bringing joy to other people.
I know the story of Christ by heart, but becoming a mother has given me revelation, after revelation of the depth of its meaning.
I realized something that Sunday, I hadn't grasp the depth of God's sacrifice.
Sometimes I think we celebrate Christ sacrifice more than God's.
Christ said "Father why have you forsaken me"
Could you imagine God's face, God's pain that He felt when His Son cried out for Him?
Christ cried out, just as my son cried out for me.
I had to watch, and the pain of doing nothing killed me.
I wanted to swoop in and saved the day, but I knew this had to be done for the safety of my child.
Nothing can describe it, the feeling is overwhelming.
Christ cried out in pure pain, wanting only one thing, His Father.
God had to withstand an ultimate sacrifice, for us.
God sacrificed HIS ONLY SON
He felt the pain, the agony, while watching His Son die.
So that we might live.
God sacrificed His whole world, His love, His joy, His Son.
God felt more pain than Christ did that day.
That's what I learned this Christmas.